Simone Person
fetish (noun)
1A. an object believed to have a magical power to protect or aid its owner:
as in the miracle of thigh heat, holy dark between breasts, soft mound of belly and ass; the trouble with protection is how easy it is to lose; one day, I was doubtful girlshape and before I knew it, I’d swollen to wicked, the full of me cause for lust and loathe in equal measure, twin flames on forevered loop—
1B. an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion:
when I was nine, my pulmonologist said he’d like to keep me on a deserted island with nothing but grapefruit to eat; the need to solve the problem of fatgirl, before she’s too big to keep on leash; I was 28 before someone loved me without crafting some exception for my body—
1C. an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification:
there is no beauty in being desired—it’s an empty love—you’re only as good as how easy you are to break; an ex once admitted, yes, he was a devotee to big women, we were the only ones plentiful enough to slake his thirst, there’s just so much of you, I feel like I’ll never be able to touch it all; porn deals in taboo, the act of wanting so much you turn to hate it, how it unravels you, makes you forget all the astonished names of God; I am tired of men building me to altar, sick from their thickened prayers for my arrival, but not more than I am at myself for always coming when they call—
Simone Person is a Black queer femme and two-time Pink Door Writing Retreat fellow. They are the author of Dislocate (Honeysuckle Press, 2018), Smoke Girl (Diode Editions, 2019), and can be found at simoneperson.com.
